In the 1213rd year of Nord’s Burp, we reached the feet of the Grumbling mountains. Their toenails were untrimmed and much lint had accumulated from their socks. But we pressed on, and eventually reached the town of Intercourse. After exchanging some delightful puns with the locals, we were forced to defend ourselves by killing everyone in the village (including women and children) and take all of their stuff.
Total loot: 1 turnip, four canvas dresses, and a three-legged dog (with working bark).